Day 4


In India, the daughter of the household is seen as ‘paraya dhan’, someone who is to be blissfully given away during marriage. When a newlywed leaves her home, she is garbed in her bridal attire, and along with her husband, she will be surrounded by her father, brothers and uncles.
The bride then proceeds to throw three handfuls of rice along with a few coins, over her head and into the house. This symbolizes her connection to the house, and it is seen as an act of repayment to her parents for keeping her in the house, and also to spread prosperity and happiness in all the four corners of the house.

But is it easy for any girl to repay the love,affection, upbringing by just throwing rice over her head.

After her doli moves ahead to grooms house do you really think her bond, relationship, love of so many years her identity really changed with this?

I feel it’s time to understand parents too stop thinking their daughter paraya dhan … If a girl wants to take up responsibility of her parents alongwith her in laws please don’t stop her .. It only hurt her inside and pain of not able to do anything for them kills her …every inlaws should encourage her to go ahead to take up decision for her parents and every husband who promised her with 7 vows to stand by her should support her.

Even girl should understand that all these rituals are gone with time…her parents who have given her good upbringing & morals , love & bonding it can’t be over just after kanyadan !!!

I don’t encourage that a girl disrespect or give less value to inlaws and keep following her responsibilities only for her parents…remember if you want your parents get treated with love respect & care ..give same love ,respect &care to inlaws too.

Remember, Mirror will only show your reflection to you..give as u expect from other!!

Marriage is a beautiful journey…make it just magical with love & little wise steps!!!

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Ruchi Verma

Certified parenting teen practitioner, multiple Award winner, mother of two active kids believes in sharing the right source of information to readers which could help them in every possible way!!

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  1. Hatts of Ruchi, again it’s an awesome and meaningful article for all. Ruchi, I strongly oppose kanyadadan ritual and I have decided that I will never follow this ritual.

    1. Thanks Hansa … M not against any ritual just the way people call paraya dhan it’s not right …after kanyadaan also girl can take ip responsibility of parents!!

  2. Such thought provoking post and i agree u, we should stop seeing her as paraya dhan.. it’s too much. She feels like a liability till the time she’s married and even after that parents are very conscious that she should focus more on her new house than the previous one.

    1. Correct !! Parents have full right on every child equally even after marriage… I too feel sad when sometimes I ask something to my mom and she replies saying ask your mother in law as she says… I feel very bad !! So time to STOP !!

  3. True..we should not see a girl as only “paraya dhan”!

    1. Exactly!!! You can’t leave your own part your kids saying paraya dhan !!!

  4. Well said Ruchi.Times have changed and so should our outlook.The girl’s parents are her responsibility as well.After all,they have brought her up and educated her.

    1. Agreed!! Today girls are well educated & take care of parents very well …

  5. Though there are families who still consider the girl as ‘paraya dhan’, I think the situation is improving, that parents don’t see their daughters that way. I hope that that improvement continues.

  6. whole-Heartedly agree with you ! After reading I am sure Marriage is a beautiful journey !!
    Thanks for sharing !

    1. Yes …it is a very beautiful journey if both partners carry it in beautiful way !!!

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