Ruchi Verma
Do your kids fight? Do they argue? Do they involve in the physical fights too? Well, this is so normal, and if you ask me siblings fights are extremely normal between them.
Being a mother of a child and a teenager, I am most of the time act like a referee between the two. I remember my childhood memories with my three sisters; we had conflicts and even fiction, and today we laugh at those fights.
Every child is unique and so is every bond, but the purest among all is one we call siblings bond, being first best friends and sharing everything it is quite natural that they have fights, arguments, and conflicts.
Role being a parent in Sibling’s fights
Well, I can’t think there could be one or two or three reasons siblings fights and have an argument. In my case there is a good age gap between the two but still they have they are ready to get in the battlefield with their swords out for small or big things.
Here comes your role as a parent to guide them. Tips I am going to share is what I try at my home and seems working fine:
1. Listen:
Communication is the key, and I always advocate this. Separate them and talk to both of them, It’s very important to listen both sides stories and choose words accordingly so none of the child feel that the other one is getting prioritised.
We, at home listen and give our gyaan after they finish describing the reason of fight.
2. Interfere when required
Trust me, they will laugh when grown up on these fights. Don’t interfere until unless they required a referee. Let the resolve their conflicts and I have seen many times at my home, when they fight and if I jump in to solve they just mention “No worries we are just talking” and then I realised let them handle as far as they can.
3. They learn as they watch
Make sure you set a good example in front of them, how we as parents behave with our siblings they learn a lot from that and adapt in their nature. So, make sure the kind of relationship you will carry, they will carry too.
4. Keep a tap on verbal fights
Language is very important, as a parent make sure the language they are speaking during the verbal fight. Make sure foul language should immediately controlled and set the rule at home. Language affects mental health more than any physical health damage.
5. Be netural
It’s very important to understand if you will take any one side, the other will feel cornered in-spite of their fault and can have a negative feeling for the sibling. The best solution is to make their fight look like disadvantageous and for that we usually start playing music which lights up their mood or start playing some game to distract them and when they are back in good mood, easy for us to make them understand.
These are some simple tips and tricks which can make the bond of siblings stronger and they will cherish lifelong.
‘This post is a part of Blogchatter Half Marathon“
Copyright: © Ruchi Verma
Disclaimer – This article is an advisory piece. The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not reflect the views of any brand.
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This is the most challenging thing to handle being parents. Most of the times we end up with saying – ab bas karo.
I am also a mother to a teenager and a five yearly. Keeping a watch on the language they use is very important. Sometimes, a few sentences or gestures which are okay for teenagers are complete no-no for the other kid. Communication is the key for sure. Most of the sibling fights are resolved between them.
I strongly believe in second point. yes, it is not necessary to get involves in each tiny matters. most of the time siblings resolve their minor conflicts on their own. loved all the tips you have mentioned here and I follow all of these to handle my girls routine fighting.
A right topic you have picked definitely sharing this with my sister as I keep seeing her little ones always on fight sure this will be helping her out.
I can understand this quarrel, when I go to my maternal home, I have to take care of 3 more children with my son, it is very difficult. It is not known when there are fights. The tips share by you, its helpful.
Sibling fighting and rivalry are common, especially when the age difference between the two kids is less. I think, being objective and neutral and managing the conflict gracefully is what is needed;
Being neutral is very important, none of them should feel that we are partial that will make things even worse. And I agree I pitch in when I am asked to OR feel things are going out of control.
I am also a mother of a small kid and a teenager. Every day I have to face this issue between both of them. If I take one kid side they are like you love only her/him. At times I laugh but I can’t show them as it reminds me of my childhood memories. The tips which you shared is very useful
Whenever my two children fight, I always act neutral and try to diffuse the situation without taking any sides. I also listen to both sides patiently and try to tell them how to behave properly with each other. Thankfully my children listen to me 🙂
These are indeed some amazing advice for parents with two to more kids or siblings in joint families.. loved the post, you penned it perfectly
I have grown up with my cousin and we had been through so many fights which were handled very sensibly by my mom. It is really important for a parent/guardian to be neutral, when it comes to handle sibling fights, so that it does not turn to rivalry.
Thankfully I have only one child ‘coz I remember the days when I was young and those fights with my big bro. Yes parents need to control the language while kids fight.
As parents we deal with these fights everyday. Very important that we let them resolve and interfere only when needed. Good post.
Off late, I feel so troubled looking at my kid’s fight. It irritates the hell out of me and I try so much to resolve but soon they find another reason to fight with each other again. I will try these tips to solve these sibling fights.
Oh dear such a good post and I so agree by get not being a parent. Yea, it sometimes becomes so difficult to give out the verdict. And true that the words they spread while fight should vr checked
This must be a real problem for moms with two or multiple kids. I am a single child myself so have no idea about a rivalry or how moms manage it! This is a nice detailed post here.
I’ve two kids and could relate to this so much. My kids fight at times and though it’s not verbal, they fight more for toys and TV channel. But yes I have to be neutral while asking them to stop.
Oh this was much needed. I feel like a referee all the time
Haha!!!… This is such an informative post. This post very useful to all the new parents. Thank you for sharing such useful post.