Raising an Optimistic teenagersNovember 19, 2020
Optimistic teenagers or being an optimistic person is very important we always listen and we need to address that to our growing kids. Till now I have shared how to handle and guide your child if they are facing cyberbullying or adolescent depression.
Now, answer yourself “Optimism -Does it really matters?” “Is it always good to be optimistic in every situation?” Actually not!! What we need to pass our kids is to be “GROUNDED OPTIMISM”.
Grounded optimism means to accept the failures or life and learn from those mistakes along with going back to the situation when you faced the same kind of situation and passed the challenge of life.
Let’s say your kid failed in exam, let them know the reason of their failure and accept that. But, with that make sure they rewind and see how they worked prepared themselves for the exam when they passed and this is when they learn to be grounded optimistic.
As I always says, be a role model as they pick up from your attitude towards life.
3 Optimistic lessons
- Tell them that our inner thoughts define us not the materialistic things we have or don’t have. Your inner thoughts are a treasure that no-one can take away from you, it makes you stronger.
- Your inner thoughts will give the right direction to respond to any hard situation of life as then it will depend on how you respond.
- Most important is how you react in a bad and tough situations. Remember that every situation is a learning.
Teach them to be happy
It’s so important to raise a happy child, now what is happiness if I have to explain it, I will divide it as:
Happiness=50% Genes+10% Situation+40% Intentional Activity.
The way you react and do your everyday work matters a lot and being a parent if you create a happy environment you will surely raise a happy child.
5 Elements of Happiness
There are 5 elements of happiness which we should pass to our growing kids and raise them into optimistic teenagers. It is a scientifically proven happiness model by Dr. Marty Seligman one of the founders of positive psychology called PERMA.
- P- Positive Emotion: It’s important to make sure that your child should have positive emotions in life. Every emotion at times is important but turning that emotion into positive terms is really matters. It’s OK to be angry, sad, or restless but need to turn these emotions into positive emotions.
- E- Engagement: Let them follow their happiness and go in that flow. Allow them to follow their passion or job they love, when they are engaged in something they love to do like reading, playing, music or anything nothing else will matter and they will be happy.
- R- Relationship: Relationship, friendship matters the most in this delicate age. Blood relations, bond with family is something we can’t change but we need to let them know and allow them to choose to be friends with those who are willing to be your genuine friends. As I mentioned they learn a lot from parents, and so if you have a stable circle of friends and you value those relationships, they will learn the same.
- M- Meaning and Purpose: Let them know the meaning or purpose of any action you perform as they will learn from you. Give them a job or work which marks an impact and they learn and find the meaning of that job and find that interesting and help them to be happy.
- Accomplishment: This is important to make them understand. Scoring 100% in an exam or winning a basketball match is the end result or accomplishment they have achived and made them happy. Ask them to rewind and analyze the path of achieving the final result which makes them happy. This is called the happiness of accomplishment.
Teach your child to be happy NOW, this will make them optimistic towards life and you will raise an optimistic teenagers.
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